Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Trailers and Toilet Paper
Paper or plastic? Coffee or tea? Single-wide or Double-wide? It’s a question I often ask at events where I’m speaking. At one particular event no one raised their hands, and they looked at me as if I had suddenly dropped in from another planet. (T.T.: Trailer Terrestrial) I didn’t think they would understand that you can’t slam doors in double-wides. They are too thin for much pressure and if you find a way to slam it, all the pictures fall off the walls. They weren’t ready for the game we love to play: Toughing out the Tornado.
But I was so wrong. I learned you don’t have to experience something first hand to comprehend it, especially if its humor, and there’s a little bit of trailer trash in all of us. These joy-filled, fun-loving ladies were from my a suburb of Atlanta where double-wides are a myth...the subject of a good horror story.
Indeed, I grew up in a brick home, built on a firm foundation that sat on a corner lot. It was a great place for football games, T.V. tag, red light-green light, and dozens of other childhood games.
We had two massive oak trees that stood about thirty yards apart and just begged to be wrapped in toilet paper every summer. In those days you didn’t toilet paper people you didn’t like, but those whom you did. At least that’s what I was told. Apparently we were adored!
One evening my daddy heard a commotion in the front yard and we knew what was going on. A giant Charmin web covered our front porch and yard. It was actually a work of art. A body emerged from behind one of the trees, looking like a trapped victim in the web.
“Mr. Goins, can we please finish? We’re not quite done and this is the best ever! We’ll clean it up in the morning.”
“All right. Just be sure to get it cleaned up. It does look great!”
My dad congratulated them on their vandalism!
My sister and I got to clean it up the next morning... If I remember correctly (sometimes I do, sometimes I don't...) Mama had us put all the collected paper into a garbage bag and put it in the bathroom to be used later.
I call that TM: Trailer Mentality. Also known as RECYCLING.