Thursday, April 29, 2010

Slap Your Grandma, That's Some Good Pot Roast!

No! Please, do NOT go slap your Grandma, or anyone's Grandma for that matter.
It's an expression. I do not, under any circumstances condone abuse of any kind, particularly when it involves elder family members.
     I grew up in Atlanta where we never used the words "slap" and "grandma" in the same sentence, unless you were to say ,"Hey, Grandma! Slap me some butter on that biscuit before you pass it to me."
     So you can imagine my surprise the first time I heard my husband, who hails from somewhere in South Georgia, say, "Darlin, this pecan pie is so good, it makes you wanta slap your Grandma!" HUH?
    I was appalled! (Look it up.) "Why would I want to slap my Grandma?"
   "Aw, sugarpie, simmer down. Its just an expression." (For the record my husband doesn't really talk like that. He's never called me Darlin or Sugarpie. Its for the sake of the story.  He most certainly did tell me to slap my Grandma.)
     Since that day I have heard a few other folks use a similar expression as in "Slap your brother, those pancakes are good!" and so on. But more times than not, I've heard it referenced to Grandma. I'm not sure at all where this colorful phrase came from, but I imagine it started a long time ago when the kitchen would get way too hot to stay in it while waiting for supper (or dinner, if you're from down here) to finish cooking.
So Grandma would find her way out to her rocking chair on the front porch while she cooled off in the breeze with a refreshing cold beverage. Mint Julep, Spiked Lemonade or a couple of icy shots of Jim Bean would do the trick to cool off Grandma and before long, she would be out cold.  Pretty soon supper would be ready but everyone had learned it was best not to wake Grandma from her "before meal nap". Occasionally Pa might say, "Junior, go see if you can wake Grandma for supper."
     "Aw, Paw. I did it last time and she about knocked me out."
     "Did you shake her to wake her?"
    "Yes, sir."
     "Alright son. Come eat your vittles. Let her rest."
     Then they sat down to commence to eating their roasted possum and carrots, to which Pa exclaimed, "Oooweee! This is good eatin'! Go get your Grandma and tell her she's missing a good meal."
    Junior answers, "But Pa! What if she tries to hit me?"
   "Well, son," Pa laughs, "Hit her back!"
    Junior leaves and returns quickly with Grandma shuffling behind him.
    "Y'all just gonna eat without me?" asks Grandma.
    "You were having a good nap."
    "Well, I'm here now. Pass the possum."
    "How'd you wake her, Junior?"
    "I slapped her, like you told me to."
    "Okay, then. Have a seat and let's give thanks for these vittles, and for Grandma."
     Then the next time Grandma was passed out cold and didn't want to eat, Pa told Junior, "Ooo...wee, these rutabagas are so good. I hate for your Grandma to miss them. Go slap her and see if she'll come eat."
     And so on and so forth until eventually folks began saying, "These taters are so good they'll make you want to slap your Grandma (so she can come eat them too!)"
   Which brings me around to the awesome meal I prepared last night, I don't mind telling you!
    One of the Preacher's favorite meals is roast beef with potatoes and carrots, but I've never been as happy with the results as I would like to be, so he doesn't get to eat them as often as he'd like. I've always tossed everything into the CrockPot for eight hours (Or on high for four for Sunday lunch), just like Mama did. But the texture of the meat would be more shredded, and often chewy. But after tonight I think I'll only be using my Crock Pot for spaghetti sauce.
    I don't share a lot of recipes. Not because I'm not a good cook, but I am somewhat on the lazy, yet creative side. I have six shelves of recipe books but once I find what I'm looking for I don't have all the ingredients and I improvise.  I didn't see my Mama use a cookbook very often (except for the one that had magazine clippings pouring out of it), and I guess I inherited that ability. Putting some stuff together and praying it turns out edible!
    Don't expect these fancy spices and herbs like Thyme and rosemary. My favorite spices are garlic salt and dehydrated onion. And if a recipe calls for Italian spices, a spoonful of Italian dressing does the trick, and adds moisture.
    I've been wanting to fix a genuine POT roast for sometime. I got my 5 or so pound roast, a bag of small, peeled carrots (told you I was lazy) and a bag of potatoes. I looked up a recipe for Yankee Pot Roast online and it said after you simmer on the stove for an hour you put it in the oven for two more hours. Naw. If I wanted to wait that long I'd put it back in the Crock Pot. I had about an hour and a half.
    I started by browning my meat in about 2 Tbsp. oil in a big-ole pot. I sprinkled garlic salt and dehydrated onions generously on both sides. Drained the oil and fat off and added about 2 cups water that I plopped four boullion cubes into (the kind that are wrapped like little gift packages). The water barely covered the top of the meat, just so you know. I then poured in the bag of carrots, quartered four unpeeled potatoes because I'm lazy the vitamins are in the peelings. Dropped then in and cut two celery stalks into thirds and added them. Now this is very important.  I don't like cooked celery but I threw them in cause I had it on hand and thought it might make it "fancy". No. I pulled them out after ten minutes because I also can't stand the smell of cooked celery!  Did the ten minutes make a difference in the taste or texture of my meal? I can't tell you. I probably will add them again because this meal was so incredibly perfect I don't want to veer from it. Sprinkle everything liberally again with garlic salt, black pepper and onion. Now if you want to add parsley, sage, rosemary, or thyme now would be the time to do it. I'm sure it will make it even better.
     After I removed the celery I put the lid on and set the stove between low and medium. Hot enough to simmer (bubble lightly) but low enough so the meat doesn't stick to the pan. Let it simmer for about thirty minutes without stirring. 
     Stir about 2 Tablespoons of cornstarch (or flour) into a cup of cold water, until the cornstarch is dissolved and pour it over everything. Finally I tossed a basket of fresh mushrooms on top, popped the lid back on and let it simmer for about thirty more minutes.
     I removed the vegetables and was concerned if the meat would be done or not. BABY! Was it ever! It was the tastiest, "tenderest" meat I ever put in my mouth. It was the perfect texture to slice with a dull knife, yet still hold its shape. Finally I poured the gravy into a bowl and served it with a side of light bread. (That'd be white, killer-bread to some of you). Slap some gravy on that bread, or better yet, use it to sop up the gravy that ran off the sides of your meat, and trust me, you are gonna want to slap SOMEBODY!

64 comments:

  1. I use a seasoning called "Slap Ya Mama"...think Tony Chachere's but with a little more kick. That roast looks yummy and I'd love to have a little bit for my breakfast I do believe 'cause this oatmeal is not cutting it now!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yowza, I LOVE the expressions!
    Vittles, good eatin', Yee-haw!
    I want to come to your house for dinner just to hear the the banter, because I know ya'll really DO talk like that!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh I wish you were my neighbor..we would get along so well! I am going to use that recipe...yummy!

    And I about fell out of my chair laughing when I read the slap your gramma naration...but seriously, I've never heard that expression either...its usually Oh that's so good it makes my molars ache or something like that around here!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I wish you were MY neighbor.... I argue with my husband all the time about cooking meat in water. But I may try this. It sounds yummy. I will be forced to subsitute the killer white bread for wheat though. Sorry about that.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Leanne you are truly hilarious :) I love your interpretation of the saying! That roast sounds delicious too!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yum! sounds delicious! You failed to mention not only were we not allowed to put slap and grandma in the same sentence....we weren't even allowed to call our grandma, "grandma"... Only "GRANDMOTHER". I was alway so jealous of Aunt Unabelle's grandkids got to call her granny. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. My favorite way to use this expression:

    "You'll want to drive all the way to your Mama's house, slap her, get in the car and drive home."

    It's a winner.

    Also, my one experience boiling meat was horrific. I might have to give it another go.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love your humor! Thank you for making me smile! I have similar tastes as you and appreciate your recipe. My boss is from Malcom, GA, and he is wonderful. I love it when he tells me about his roots, too.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have never heard that one before- thanks for the new phrase ;-) ... currios, the plate you have your roast on, is it Greek? It looks like an old Grecian pattern.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am not from the south, but believe me, I am going to start inserting "slap" into every sentence I utter now!!

    What a meal! I want to slap MYSELF silly!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Pot roast. I LOVE pot roast! I actually make really good pot roast.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This sounds so good and you know down in the south we gotta have bread at every meal - light,um I mean white bread is the best with pot roast. I like the idea of the italian dressing out of the bottle - I may have to try that one :) Love the recipe thanks for sharing it with the southern mommas!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Awe shucks this almost makes me long for those lazy days in the porch swing at my ex-mother-in-law's house... NOT! But it surely does make me want some pot roast and maybe moonshine too. Seriously though I love the South, Southern sayings and the food ... yummers.

    I'm here (late, I realize that is bad manners which the don't look kindly on down your way) in my "official" Welcomista capacity to welcome ya'll to SITS!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Just the title was enough to tickle me. That's a funny story! Makes sense, though, and now I just might have to use it.

    Pot roast looks yummy. I agree about stringy meat in the crock pot; it's just so darn easy.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Love this. I always like to know how sayings got started. I love pot roast too.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Never thought a slap-happy post about a pot roast could be so much fun!

    Lucy

    ReplyDelete
  17. Great post! Certainly put a smile on my face to read that story :)
    (Stopping by from SITS)

    ReplyDelete
  18. i say that all the time. "so good, makes me want to slap my momma!" haha.

    stopping by from sits to say hello.

    ReplyDelete
  19. My mom has always made her roast similarly to this. And hers is far better than my crock pot roast.

    I made beef tips this week and we were all SHOCKED that they were really good. Now I wish I had paid attention while I was making them, so I could do it again. Who knew??

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hahaha, cute story and the roast is making my mouth water...

    I'm no Southern Bell, but I wonder if "Slap your Grandma" came from her good ol fashion Southern cookin' in which everyone gave her a hearty slap on the back for cooking up some good grub!

    Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I've never heard that phrase before! I LOVE your little history of where it might have come from!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I have never heard slap your grandma before....but I grew up in Colorado.

    I loved that your roast was the perfect texture to slice with a dull knife!

    ReplyDelete
  23. My mom used to make that in the crock pot, too. It was yummy! I need to use my crock pot. The Husband has, but I haven't. I hear it's a good thing!

    ReplyDelete
  24. that meal looks AMAZING! i'm starving just looking at it! and i'm totally going to start using that expression from now on.

    ReplyDelete
  25. lol this post cracked me up but the food looks sooo good

    ReplyDelete
  26. I am regular visitor, how are you everybody? This post posted at this site is truly fastidious.



    My web-site; abdominal exercises to lose belly fat

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hello to all, as I am truly eager of reading this weblog's post to be updated on a regular basis. It consists of good stuff.

    Here is my blog post acorn rage drop n block

    ReplyDelete
  28. Incredible! This blog looks just like my old one!

    It's on a completely different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Superb choice of colors!

    my webpage - abante sa balita filipino newspaper

    ReplyDelete
  29. Eνeгy partіcipant obseгved addеd benefits thгoughout the assessment.


    Look аt my web sіte http://www.squidoo.com/flex-belt-review-and-discount

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hi there, this weekend is faѕtidіouѕ
    fоr me, because thіs moment i am rеadіng this impressiνe informatiνe paragraph here at my house.


    Feel free to surf to my page - crear facebook

    ReplyDelete
  31. When I initiаlly commented I сlickеԁ thе
    "Notify me when new comments are added" checkbox anԁ now eaсh time a comment
    iѕ aԁded I get three e-mаils with the ѕame comment.
    Is therе any way you can remοve people from that servіce?
    Cheers!

    My homepage; facebook cuenta gratis

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hi, i think that i saw you visited my site thus i came
    to “return the favor”.I'm attempting to find things to improve my web site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!

    Here is my webpage; http://sourceitasia.com/

    ReplyDelete
  33. I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I'm not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my problem. You're incredible!

    Thanks!

    Also visit my website right hotmail support

    ReplyDelete
  34. I got this wеb site frοm my friend who informeԁ me on the topіс οf this website аnd at the moment this tіme I am browѕing thіs ωeb site and reaԁing very informatіvе
    posts at thiѕ time.

    Αlѕo vіsit my wеb site :: Resistance Of A Resistor

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hi there just wantеd to give уou a quick heads up and
    lеt you know a fеw οf thе imagеs аrеn't loading correctly. I'm not ѕuгe why but Ι
    think its a lіnkіng iѕsue. I've tried it in two different browsers and both show the same results.

    Also visit my blog post: potentiometers

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hі, yеs thiѕ article iѕ rеally pleаsant anԁ
    I have learneԁ lot of things frοm it on the
    topic of bloggіng. thanκs.

    Alsо visit my web sitе - wіrewοund resistοr (http://Wiki.Itembase.com/fr/index.php?title=Utilisateur:JordanKin)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Appreciation tо my fathеr ωho shared wіth me abοut this ωeb sitе, thiѕ
    wеbpage is in fact гemarkable.


    Аlѕo vіsit my web pagе; resistance of A resistor

    ReplyDelete
  38. Greеtіngs! Very helpful aԁνicе in this ρаrtісulаr article!
    It іs the little chаnges that mаke the lаrgest changeѕ.

    Thanks a lot fοr shaгing!

    Also vіsit my blοg рοst; mov varistor 

    ReplyDelete
  39. This iѕ my first time go to seе at heгe and i аm actually happy to гead еѵerthing аt ѕingle placе.


    Feel fгee to visіt my homepagе varistor

    ReplyDelete
  40. I just like the valuable info you provide to your articles.
    I will bookmark your blog and test again right here regularly.
    I am fairly sure I'll learn lots of new stuff right here!
    Good luck for the following!

    My website - Titanfall Aimbot

    ReplyDelete
  41. Usually I do not read article on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very
    pressured me to check out and do it! Your writing style has been amazed me.
    Thank you, quite great post.

    my website ... fine lines wrinkles

    ReplyDelete
  42. We absolutely love your blog and find many of your post's to be precisely what I'm looking
    for. Would you offer guest writers to write content for you?

    I wouldn't mind writing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write in relation to here.
    Again, awesome web log!

    Here is my web blog :: Biogeniste Reviews

    ReplyDelete
  43. Hey there I am so delighted I found your blog page, I really
    found you by error, while I was browsing on Google for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say many thanks for a remarkable post and a all round entertaining blog (I
    also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it
    all at the moment but I have book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to
    read more, Please do keep up the fantastic jo.

    My blog ... naturally increase testosterone

    ReplyDelete
  44. It's really very complex in this busy life to listen news on Television, thus I
    only use internet for that purpose, and take the hottest information.

    my blog post :: money mule recruitment

    ReplyDelete
  45. What's Happening i'm new to this, I stumbled upon this I have
    found It positively useful and it has aided me out loads.

    I'm hoping to give a contribution & help other users like its helped me.

    Great job.

    Here is my page; can you buy pure berry max in stores

    ReplyDelete
  46. Hi there, after reading this remarkable article i am too cheerful to share my knowledge here with
    mates.

    Here is my web page; best testosterone boosters

    ReplyDelete
  47. Hurrah! After all I got a webpage from where I be capable of
    really obtain valuable data regarding my study and knowledge.


    my blog post herbal buds

    ReplyDelete
  48. What's up everyone, it's my first pay a visit at this site, and piece of writing is
    actually fruitful in support of me, keep up posting such
    articles.

    Have a look at my web page - Aktive PM and aktive am (http://www.monsterhighgames.us)

    ReplyDelete
  49. Howdy would you mind sharing which blog platform you're using?
    I'm planning to start my own blog in the near future but
    I'm having a hard time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and
    Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and
    I'm looking for something completely unique.
    P.S Apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!


    Review my weblog; Ana Sayfa

    ReplyDelete
  50. Greetings! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to
    give a quick shout out and tell you I really enjoy reading through your
    articles. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums
    that go over the same subjects? Thank you!

    Here is my site weight loss diet

    ReplyDelete
  51. What's up, the whole thing is going fine here and ofcourse
    every one is sharing facts, that's genuinely fine, keep up writing.


    My blog post ... anti aging skincare

    ReplyDelete
  52. Hello! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers?
    I'm kinda paranoid about losing everything I've worked hard on.
    Any recommendations?

    Feel free to surf to my website ... Formula T10 Review

    ReplyDelete
  53. I do accept as true with all the ideas you've offered in your post.
    They're really convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are too brief for beginners.

    May you please prolong them a bit from subsequent time?

    Thank you for the post.

    Visit my web site - Prasouda diet

    ReplyDelete
  54. I all the time emailed this website post page to all my contacts, for the
    reason that if like to read it then my links will too.



    My site; lean muscle meal

    ReplyDelete
  55. Hi there to all, it's really a good for me to go to see
    this web site, it consists of valuable Information.

    Also visit my web site - Go Vapor (http://www.microgames.fr/)

    ReplyDelete
  56. It's in fact very complex in this busy life to listen news on Television, thus I only use world wide web for that reason, and
    obtain the most up-to-date information.

    My webpage mutants genetic gladiators hack; ,

    ReplyDelete
  57. Ridiculous story there. What occurred after? Good luck!

    My website: charlotte locksmith

    ReplyDelete
  58. What's up, just wnted to mention, I enjoyed this article.
    It was helpful. Keep on posting!

    Also visit my page - venapro negative reviews

    ReplyDelete
  59. I used to put them in his lunch, back in the days
    when I packed one for him. Truly, we have produced after
    lengthy hrs of research, perform and screening, a
    solution for thr Clash of Clans Cheat totally undetectable and operates perfectly.
    I 'm a specialist in defense and assault strategy but I lost 2 times in 100 games therefore I ensure you the
    sport isn't so simple.

    Here is my web-site: Clash of Clans Hack

    ReplyDelete
  60. Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I to find It really useful & it helped me out much.
    I am hoping to give something back and aid others such as you
    helped me.

    My page cross rings for men ()

    ReplyDelete
  61. Hello! I could have sworn I've been to this site before but
    after browsing through some of the post I realized it's
    new to me. Anyhow, I'm definitely happy I found it and I'll be book-marking and checking back often!

    my website; baby monitor hacked ohio

    ReplyDelete
  62. Wonderful web site. Plenty of helpful information here.

    I'm sending it to a few buddies ans additionally sharing in delicious.

    And obviously, thanks on your sweat!

    My blog ... balanced diet (43.75)

    ReplyDelete
  63. Hmm is anyone else having problems with the pictures on this blog loading?
    I'm trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it's the blog.

    Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated.

    Feel free to surf to my homepage - buy cheap viagra

    ReplyDelete
  64. A person essentially lend a hand to make critically posts I might
    state. This is the first time I frequented your web
    page and so far? I surprised with the research you made to create this particular post amazing.
    Excellent activity!

    my webpage - sleep mask

    ReplyDelete

"Thank you, and do come back now, ya heah?"
(No she didn't...yes she did.)