Tuesday, April 20, 2010

DO NOT Try This At Home

You did WHAT?!

"I gave the cop a parking ticket."

"You DID WHAT?!"

"I thought it was funny. He was parked in a no-parking zone."


She was at it again. This crazy, bundle of sunshine, who has brought such joy to my life recently, gave the cop a parking ticket.  She said she was bored, because they were slow at work. ("So why didn't you read a magazine?" my response.)  She noticed the patrol car in a no-parking zone so she grabbed a sheet of paper and wrote:

      Dear sir,
      you are parked in a no-parking zone.
      Please pay me $500 for your fine.
      Sincerely,   Your Friend

And then she went back to work. OH NO, SHE DIDN'T!
She stood outside and waited for him to finish his coffee and donut (how cliche' is that?)
until he returned to his patrol car.

"Sir, there's something on your windshield!" (She just can't let it go...)
He holds a finger up to her to say "Wait a minute. I'm an important authority figure in this town and I'm busy right now."
"uh, oh." She finally thinks, maybe this guy doesn't have a sense of humor. (actually her words were much more colorful but I'll let you imagine them.)
"Can I help you, ma'am?"
"Sir, there's something on your windshield."
"Probably a flyer, ma'am."
"No, sir. It looks like a parking ticket." (Maybe she likes orange jumpsuits. She does have a great sense of style.)
He takes it. He reads it. He puts her in handcuffs and hauls her off smiles. Then he chuckles.
"Have a good day, sir." And she merrily skips back into the shop. Her mission accomplished. (I'm not sure what that mission was exactly, but she accomplished it.)

My friend goes to the bank and standing there, waiting in line is her cop-friend. Now I have a great sense of humor, but I like to think I know when enough is enough.

"HEY, MISTER!" (yeah, she yelled across the bank.) "Didn't you get a parking ticket yesterday?"
Plenty loud enough for all to here and yeah, she notices his sergeant is standing with him.
He looks at her. Recognizes those bouncy curls and mischievious eyes. He doesn't smile.
"Come here," he demands in his police voice.
(Imagine more colorful words here that are her thoughts.)
"Yes sir?" 
Is she possibly concerned for her actions?
"Tell my boss here what you did to me yesterday."
"He was parked in a no-parking zone so I gave him a ticket."
Sargeant looks from one to the other.
Cop replies,"She said I owed her $500 ! We would never charge a fine that big?"
Friend argues "Are you kidding? You guys don't care what you charge us!" 
(I truly think she has some male parts...)
Sargeant laughs. Cop laughs, "My girlfriend saw the note and said it had to be written by a woman and got all mad. You got me in trouble."
"Sorry!" She waves them away and she exits the bank, "See you at my parole hearing later."

I do NOT recommend this technique when getting to know your neighborhood police. Offering them a snack, say....coffee and donut is MUCH safer!


  1. Now that was a great story! I love her gutsy personality!

  2. oh THAT is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!
    I wish I was that creative - I would TOTALLY do it! LOL

  3. That is GREAT! She she has boy parts of steel!!!

  4. wow- it takes a lot of guts to do that! haha! i'm just glad he took it the right way :)

  5. That was hilarious!
    I agree, she does have guts!

  6. I laughed so hard I almost tinkled a little! Oh my that is hilarious...that gal has balls! Thank you for sharing...this was great!

  7. hahahaahahaha! there i go again. starting comments with the "hahahahaah". it's because i laugh when i read your posts.

    who is this friend of yours? because i wanna meet her. and because i'm jealous that i never caught a cop parked in a no parking zone.

  8. I love this!!!!!! Hilarious and amazing! Her and her 'man parts' :)

  9. I would never have the courage! Love this story!!

  10. Hahaha!!! Love her spunk, she sounds like my kinda girl.

    Go read what kind of trouble my husband got himself into on Sunday.

  11. OH! She did what we've ALL wanted to do! Go, Girl!

  12. In addition to my hysterical laughing, all I can hear in my head is "CITIZENS UH-RAYUST!...CITIZENS UH-RAYUST!" That was hilarious!

  13. Great story.
    My brother used to be a cop.
    When I saw him driving by in his squad car one day while I was with my friends, I flipped him the bird. He gave me a dirty look, then drove on. Later he told me to never do that again!

  14. That is soooo something I would do. Ilove her!!

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  16. Oh gosh, I loved this post, too funny!!!

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  18. Oh no she didn't! That is priceless! Great story!

  19. Holy shitskies that was AWESOME

  20. LOVE IT!!!! I would never have the "guts" to do that! Sounds like the same girl who might have said "Are you just gonna stand there all cute or are you gonna find me a room?" Love her!

  21. The absolute BEST story EVERY!!!!! TRIPLE LOVE IT!!!!!!

  22. Good grief, what a gutsy hoot your friend is! And your telling of the story is hilarious!

    Like Leiah, I kept thinking of Gomer yelling, "Citizen's arrest!" at Barney Fife. Many's the time I've wanted to do that, too, but, alas, I lack the proper male parts to pull off such a feat!


"Thank you, and do come back now, ya heah?"
(No she didn't...yes she did.)